Running even when your not being chased

I am a new runner....if you know me you know how NEW I really am. It's pretty sad when you have to google "running new start breathe" to even get started with the process.

I learned that there is a process, and if you don't follow it perfectly you can be in DANGER-sounds scary-huh? Tell me about it.....

I print out the instructions and I wish they would have NOT let me read ahead-but I did.....

and whoever wrote these instructions is a very excited runner who has never doubted herself a day in her life...

"In just 9 short weeks you will be running 3 miles"

"9 weeks huh.....OK!", I said still standing at the printer.

You start out with 60 seconds of running and then 90 seconds of walking and you do THIS back and forth for 20 minutes. pretty easy huh? I couldn't wait to get started-really.

SO-I made the Acadamy trip-we have all made this trip-I was even walking differently when I went-I was a runner and I was acting like one. I was confident and I knew what I wanted.

Instead of walking around the store I decided to ask someone b/c I didn't want to get winded.....

I asked, "Yes I need a new stop watch-mine broke" I did NOT want to sound NEW.

They pointed me in the direction and I WAS OFF.....to go and search for my new best friend.

WOW----if no one has ever searched for a stop watch you are in for a surprise. They had everything you could think of except for the one that RAN FOR YOU...don't worry I looked.

After searching for almost 30 minutes I started to sweat because they didn't have the air on in there-because we are athletes and we DON'T care about air, I finally found one.

Now I needed a new shirt-a running shirt-because I had to look amazing and a new shirt can make you run faster.....well Academy does not carry plus sizes, I am guessing because once you make it to that store you should have already lost your weight, needless to say I was upset.

I ended up buying a men's T-Shirt that was actually perfect and on sale. All this for a 60 second run.

While waiting in the check out line I ended up picking up some "Energy Beans" I know I couldn't believe I found those so quickly, but finding the right stopwatch was so difficult.

After eating them I learned that they just gave me that sugar high that I can get with any kind of JELLY BEANS....the picture of the "ENERGY" Bean on the package with the sweat band on threw me off. "ok?"

I was ready.

I looked like a runner.

I sounded like a runner (iPod Shuffle was charged)

I could keep time like a runner (stop watch)

I WAS A RUNNER

I get to the track and I am ready to BE A RUNNER....I go to a high-school track around my house and if there is something going on at the school I cannot get on the track....well I drive there, I am pumped and ready...THE ENERGY BEANS HAVE KICKED IN!

And-yes you guessed it something was going on AT THE TRACK.....

SO-I went home and started the real journey the next morning.....

I DID purchase a Jump Rope though and did that (whatever you wanna call it) for 12 seconds, I was NOT going to let all that prepping go to waste.......I drank Vitamin water and went to bed!

What an amazing start to this amazing journey!

You asked…

I've had several people ask me, "What do you think about while you're running?"

At first I thought "Think? I can't even breathe....much less think...?"

I ran 5 miles last night for the very first time, a strong 5 miles.....not the cheater cheater pumpkin eater kind ;) haha!

So I thought THIS would be a good time to tell you guys what someone like me thinks while she is running her first 5 miles.

Have a seat...it takes me a looooong time to run 5 miles so there is a lot of thinkin' happenin':

Here we go:

"Why is Isabel going so fast..."

"Wait maybe I'm going too fast..."

"Relax your shoulders..."

"The weather is sooooo nice...."

"Why did I bring this big water bottle....?"

"Jesus protect my left knee-Yea THAT ONE"

"I love Prince"

"That's a cute house"

"OH sweet MARY who is cookin' bar b q chicken!?"

"I'm not going to look at my Garmin until that white truck up there..."

"burp"

"seriously we have only ran a mile and a half..."

"Is Kristy talking to me?"

"I'm so glad I didn't lose my music when I got my new phone"

"Don't you stop Melissa"

"Jesus, does me finishing 5 miles make you proud?'

"What kind of status should I put up..."

"People hate when I put up statuses about running"

"I don't care....eeewwwww I just swallowed a bug..."

"....um why do I do this.....? seriously do I think THIS will change me....will running make me a better person?"

"oh stop Melissa....you run because it's healthy...."

"Damn Isabel runs fast."

"a jacket? I have a jacket on....I bet people think it's a running jacket...nope I wore it to work, it works though."

"Thank you Jesus for helping me close that deal today-it felt good"

"Will Kyleigh be proud that I finish 5 miles-my sister will be....she thinks I can do anything"

"OK I will look at my Garmin when I get to that overly decorated house"

"Wonder if my husband will run?"

"Ricky Jackson is HOT-wonder if he runs?"

"I'm hungry.."

"I hope when I weigh in this week I've lost like 5 pounds..."

"3 miles? wow....a 5k....and no free tshirt...cool..."

"Brass Monkey that funkey junkey...."

"Junkey...? hahahah sounds funny."

"I love when Kristy says I may need new shoes-its like a prescription...."

"Almost 4 miles"

"Act like you are running 7 miles"

SAID THIS OUT LOUD: "Hey guys does it even look like I'm running?"

"hahahahaa"

"I'm numb. I wonder what I look like?"

"I cant wait until my shadow gets smaller"

"I have worked so hard"

"Seriously these women care about me-look at them waiting for us to finish"

"I wonder if that song Grenade came out before or after Jersey Shore started getting popular?"

"oooo I may be getting gassy, I know everyone says its OK...but seriously if I ever toot while running....I WILL JUST DIE of embarrassment"

"4.7 miles....ME? seriously...."

"Jesus did you ever run?"

"why would I ask that..."

"my knees hurt bad"

"keep moving your feet-Melissa"

"4.9 can we just stop....?"

"hey let's go another mile....seriously I could"

"5 miles.....oooooo wow I didn't stop. Isabel didn't stop...we kept going....we are so good at running"

Ok so there ya go...

Tomorrow I will share with you the thoughts in my head while in the car driving home.

And if you guys are lucky....I will share "the next morning"

Embarrassed but inspired

"I did my first 5k because of you...."

"Well I'm training for a Half Marathon all because of you Melissa"

"I LOST 23 pounds....you have inspired me...."

"Every time I think about giving up I think of you-and I KEEP GOING...."

These are just a couple of the statements I have heard in the past 9 months. They make me cringe now. I used to take them in and feel a sense of accomplishment.

Not lately.

"If I can inspire all these people why can't I inspire myself...?"

"What a joke I am"

"Well at least I got a bunch of people excited about their lives again..."

I have tons of great excuses-really-they are amazing!

Here it goes, ya ready? Have a seat. Cuz they are deep.

I am moving. I am moving.

Yep that's it....that's been my big excuse. I'm moving....!! Seriously how ironic is that statement...?

I'm moving but haven't moved a muscle in 2 and half months...because I'm changing my address.

While packing I touched every running bib and medal...still in awe of myself....still picturing ME at every finish line and all of my sweet supporters.

I have gained 20 pounds since the Houston Half Marathon. If I was being honest I would say I gained all of that 45 mins. after the race. CUZ I WAS HUNGRY and felt like it was owed to me. "I earned that bad food..."

Owed to me? That statement makes me sick....it makes me so angry....but it's a statement that creeps into my mind almost weekly. Don't get me wrong I never say it out loud. NEVER....but something in my head whispers it. I'm not sure I even believe it....

(wow what a mess)

I pray.

Jesus shows up and provides a house that is right in front of running trail. He is so sweet-He gently reminds me of how strong I am and that I just took a break...and that the 20 pounds is not symbolic of any new character flaw it's a set back and that is it! He is stern but loving and says..."You are my beautiful daughter...you will run again and you will run faster and longer and love it even more..."

I miss running.

With all of this I am learning that life is a journey.

I should write Hallmark cards-I know! :)

What I mean is....I am not getting ready for a big race. I am not trying to lose weight for a wedding/high school reunion/hot date/swimsuit season!

Life change is harder than getting ready for any function you feel you need to impress someone at.

Life change is harder.

I have chosen to not conform to a lot of ways of this world. I parent differently than the world does, I live my life differently....so why can't I change this one area?

So here I sit.

Excited to run tonight after work.

I will run in my Neighborhood.

The Neighborhood He provided.

Signed,

New Runner (again)